The United States plans to offer more than $900 million to help rebuild Gaza after Israel’s invasion and to strengthen the Western-backed Palestinian Authority, U.S. officials said on Monday.

The money, which needs U.S. congressional approval, will be distributed through U.N. and other bodies and not via the militant group Hamas, which rules Gaza, said one official.

“This money is for Gaza and to help strengthen the Palestinian Authority. It is not going to go to Hamas,” said the official, who asked not to be named as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton planned to announce the funding at a donors’ conference in Egypt next week.

What’s in your wallet, Obama? I can tell you what’s in my wallet: change you can’t believe in.

…well, okay, it’s her CAMPAIGN that’s dead (or in its last throes, at least), according to AP/Yahoo! News and Michelle Malkin:

Definitely a two-popcorn bag night if you’re a political junkie. It’s the final Democrat primary night of the campaign season. Polls close in South Dakota at 9pm Eastern and in Montana at 10 pm. The scene is set for Hillary’s farewell.

With grace or gritted teeth?

Expect a strained mixture of both–with a large dash of “I am Woman, Hear Me Roar.”

MM also notes that she doesn’t believe the “Hillary for VP” hype. Myself, I think for sure there’s some talk, but Obamessiah must be thinking that if Hillary were his VP, she’d spend more time and effort trying to upstage him in advance of her run for the presidency again in 2016, than she would being a good veep.

“My name is Hillary and I am so pleased to have most of you on board,” she said. “FAA regulations prohibit the use of any cell phones, Blackberries or wireless devices that may be used to transmit a negative story about me.

And I’m sure if you had your way, Hitlery, those “FAA regulations” you cited would be enforced on the ground as well as in the air.

“Once we’ve reached cruising altitude, we’ll be offering in-flight entertainment: my stump speech.

Hmmmm… a long speech before a captive audience… sounds like someone I know…

Be forewarned, the article has a serious emetic effect.

Sen. Hillary Clinton scored with a Democratic audience last night by contradicting her husband’s belief that a terrorist could be tortured to foil an imminent plot – but what observers didn’t know is she was contradicting herself, too.

LMAO! Hillary contradicting herself (that’s her campaign strategy!) AND Slick Willie at once? Talk about a two-fer! Here’s what happened:

When (Tim) Russert revealed ex-President Bill Clinton advocated such a policy on a recent NBC “Meet the Press” appearance, Hillary Clinton won huge applause from the Dartmouth College audience with a deadpan comeback:

“Well, I’ll talk to him later.”

She may have to give herself that talk, too.

Last October, Clinton told the Daily News: “If we’re going to bepreparing for the kind of improbable but possible eventuality, then it has to be done within the rule of law.”

But the money quote comes later when Hitlery is asked who’d she root for if both the New York Yankees and the Chicago Cubs made the World Series:

“Well, I would probably have to alternate sides,” she said.

You mean like you do with just about every political issue, Hitlery?

(Hugh) Hefner contributed $2,300 (the maximum allowed in the primary) to Clinton’s campaign on March 28, identifying his occupation on the fundraiser form as “editor-in-chief” of Playboy magazine.

This is just too funny for words. You have to wonder if “Hef” is simply jockeying for a, ahem, “position” in Hillary Clinton’s administration–Chief of White House Interns or something like that!

(Democratic presidential candidate Barack Hussein) Obama and (Democratic presidential candidate and former First Lady Hitlery) Clinton aides said they intended to participate in six debates sanctioned by the Democratic National Committee. The DNC’s list did not include the Fox News-CBC Institute debate, a concession to liberal and black activists who say Fox has slighted blacks and is biased in favor of conservatives.

A spokesman for Obama, who is a member of the Congressional Black Caucus, made it clear that Obama intended to participate in a debate co-sponsored by the CBC Institute and CNN.

“CNN seemed like a more appropriate host,” Obama spokesman Bill Burton said.

CNN certainly is a more approprate host for Democrats who can’t stand being challenged on anything. Why do you think they call it the Clinton News Network?

The “Vote for Hillary Campaign,” er, we mean, New York Times, has published a nice, fawning, fluff piece about Hitlery Clinton and the military. The article’s obvious purpose is to create the myth that Hitlery actually cares about our military. Har, har, good one!

As the Hitlery campaign press release, er, the NYT dispatch notes–buried in the article, mind you–even liberals don’t believe her:

Some on the left ask if she is engaging again in the Clinton strategy of political triangulation: reaching out to military leaders while also trying to appease the left with her criticism of the war in Iraq. During her Senate re-election race last year, some liberals criticized her as currying favor with pro-military conservatives and independents by fiercely supporting Israel and taking a tough line against Al Qaeda and Iranian operatives in Iraq, similar to what her husband did during his presidency on social issues like welfare.

“Some days she sounds like a total hawk, and other days she’s saying, ‘I’m against the war and it’s been mismanaged,’ ” said Jonathan Tasini, who ran against Mrs. Clinton for the Senate Democratic nomination last year on an antiwar platform.

“But I don’t see how this helps her in the primaries,” Mr. Tasini continued. “So many people have turned against the war.”

Anyone out there remember when the following picture was going around the Internet?